Soak it Up

How long do I need to be out of work before I can start saying things like "back when I used to work"?

A common sentiment made by almost everyone I used to work near (this, of course, is back when I used to work) is how many more get-ups remained until The Weekend. Monday was torture, Tuesday people were just relieved to have Monday over with, Wednesday was hump day ("two more get-ups" people would say), etc.

I know living with my health issues probably gives me a unique perspective on how I spend time. A day or an hour or a week certainly have heightened apparent value to me, but I think the value of time is for everyone, not just people for whom there is realistically potential uncertainties. Constantly dreading Monday, then pushing through till The Weekend is a really great way to throw time away. All the time spent at work is still time on the Earth, time to think about love and loved ones. Time to contemplate the mysteries of the universe. Time to laugh over something stupid with a friendly coworker. I know no kid ever tells his mother "when I grow up, I want to work in a factory." Nearly no one loves going to work, but throwing weeks away seems reckless to me.

Savor your time, people. Be alive. Experience your own unique consciousness. This sounds a little hippy-dippy, I know, but that doesn't make it any less true. This is your one go-around in this life. Soak it the fuck up!

The Un-Winter

What a winter, huh? I should say non-winter actually. Makes me reflect back to the winter I spent working in the lumber yard in Boston. We had something like 86 inches of snow that year. Certainly more snow then I had ever seen in my life. Every snow storm meant that all the lumber yard employees had to shovel the yard out. I lost 40 pounds that first year, mostly from shoveling snow.

This winter we've been able to hike into wilderness areas that are normally restricted to spring/summer hiking because of the snow cover that should to be there. There should be so much snow that the trail is impossible to follow. Not the case this year.

Makes me feel a little sorry for all my familial East Coasters who have done their fair share of snow shoveling. At least you guys are getting buff by default, right?

Sure am Glad

I can't tell you how much I love not working at that shitty job. I know there was plenty about that job that I should be thankful for, and I think I truly am thankful for those things. I'm fortunate to have fallen into that job when I was 19 years old. Hell, I'd even say I have some good memories from my years there, made some lasting friendships for sure. But I sure am glad to be done with it. Sure am glad.

The Approval

I've been procrastinating this blog update for some time now. I've been waiting on my approval from social security disability that I applied for on Jan 9th to see if I can move toward a more "retired" state of being. I've discussed this in previous blog posts, but social security has something called "compassionate allowance" that is, more or less, an automatic approval for people with certain diagnoses. My diagnosis is on that list, so I thought I'd dig into it and see if I could become approved. For whatever reason I didn't want to post an update on this blog till I received the approval in the mail. 

Well, ladies and gentlemen, I got the approval in the mail today. I won't be receiving actual money till August, but I've prepared for this and am gleefully looking forward to the challenge. This is the dawn of a whole new age in the life of Joshua Monuteaux. I'd say the future is looking quite bright.

Cyst Removal An Other Sordid Tales

The crotch cyst returned. The cortisone shots relieved the inflammation for about two-and-a-half weeks, but then it returned with force. I called the dermatologist and set up an appointment to have it dealt with once and for all. I was hoping to avoid this final solution, because it's basically having minor surgery, but there's really no getting around it. I have to have that thing dealt with or I would never really be able to enjoy my new bicycle.

The appointment was set for yesterday after work. I woke up like usual, thought to myself "only a few more months of this", made breakfast, checked my e mail, then discovered someone had smashed the front passenger window of my car and taken my stereo. I filed the police report and went to work. After dealing with my insurance company I set an appointment to have the window replaced this morning at 8. Then I found out the thief had gotten Laura's car too. Smashed out her little triangle window and stolen her stereo and all her cd's.

This was turning out to be a shit day.

After work, I came home and showered, washed out my butt pretty thoroughly, then went to my cyst appointment. Having that thing drained was pretty bad. I'd say it wasn't as bad as having the cataract lens replaced, but it was probably a close second. I have a pressure dressing on there now, I'm supposed to clean and redress it every 24 hours for a week, then I should be ok for more bike riding.

Hopefully today will be an improvement on yesterday.

Public Nudity

The treatment of the cyst from my previous post wasn't as bad as it had the potential of being. I had to lay on the exam table on my side with my knees together and bent, as though I was getting ready to be spooned. Then I pulled down my sweat pants so the doctor could get a nice clear look at the area in question. He poked at it a few times, gave it a gentle squeeze, and determined the best way to deal with it was with a few injections of cortisone. He warned me by saying it wasn't going to be very comfortable, but it ended up not even being that bad. By the afternoon it was already reduced in size, and within a few days it was almost gone. This isn't a permanent solution, there's a good chance it'll come back, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. For now I'm able to ride my bike in comfort.

Last weekend Laura took me to a retreat center near Salem Oregon for a yearly gathering of massage therapists. Needless to say, it was very relaxing, as these are a people who make it their business to understand and promote relaxing in every possible way. This facility is called Breitenbush Hot Springs, so as you might imagine by the name there's lots of public nudity. I was slightly anxious about this, as I'm a little more conservative about being naked in front of a bunch of strangers. It turns out taking off your trunks in front of people is a little like jumping off the high-dive. I just gave myself a little three-count and stripped right down. It was quite liberating actually, only wearing my tattoos.

We left Saturday morning and returned Monday evening. I decided to take a couple extra days off to get my car in for an oil change on Tuesday, then I have two doctor's appointments today, one with my ophthalmologist who performed my eye surgeries, and the other with Dr. Thompson. I'll be able to discuss my "retirement" plans with Dr. T, as he is going to be an instrumental player in making this happen for me.

I haven't exactly started the paper chain countdown for this yet, but it should be in the next 2-3 months. Definitely before Christmas. I'm trying to be patient and thoughtful about this, but it's tough. I wish it were happening tomorrow.  

The New Bikes

Wallingford is a much more bike friendly neighborhood then Capitol Hill. My previous neighborhood even has the word "hill" right there in the name. The hills there are not impossible to ride, but it makes a leisurely bike ride nearly impossible unless one is supremely conditioned. I am not this. At one time I may have been adequately conditioned, but never in my most rabid bicycling days was I ever supremely conditioned.

All this to say that Laura and I got some bikes a couple weekends ago. We went down to REI and test rode a few different models, and picked out some that would make good day-trippers and grocery runners. Last Sunday we rode down to the Burke-Gilman, then out to the Ballard Sunday market. It was a wonderful ride, that market is truly a sight to behold, full of fresh produce, meat and fish. A huge gathering of city folk all looking for locally grown provisions for the week ahead. Plenty of street musicians keeping the atmosphere lively.

I've probably mentioned this before, but one of the side effects of my treatment medication is the development of cysts. I've had many of these little guys removed, but I have one that is making it difficult to fully enjoy the ownership and usefulness of my new bike. It's making a home right in my crotch, slightly left of center. I can still sit down to ride, but I have to tilt over to my right cheek, which isn't very ergonomic. This has been developing in that location for a few months now, but I've been in a state of denial over it, not wanting my dermatologist to have to scoop it out, trying to imagine the posture I would have to assume to accomplish such a task. Riding out to the Ballard farmer's market I realized I must come out of denial, I must face the music and have him poke and prod at this most personal patch of my body. I must enjoy my bike. I must ride.

Thats about it. I'm going in for this appointment in about 45 minutes. I'll try to post an update shortly, after I return from the appointment, and after I spend some time curled up in the shadows, recovering from my shame...

Construction Paper Chain

Yesterday I took off work a half day early and went back to The Ragley (the old apartment) and cleaned out the garage. This was the last step in moving out of capitol hill. It felt really fucking good to be done with that. All that's left is to turn in our keys. The property managers want to sit down and have a glass of wine with Laura and me when we turn in the keys. I was a pretty good tenant there, and was one of the longer term residents, so I think they just want to catch up with us and see what our future plans are. They're nice people and everything, but I wouldn't necessarily say that we're "friends", so I hope that little meeting isn't too awkward.

This afternoon I have a meeting with a fellow from the Seattle union hall, the health and benefits rep, to sit down and talk about how to make this whole plan come together. I keep encountering that famous old "A-Team" catch phrase every time I talk about this, when it's all said and done, I'm going to have to  sit down with a cigar and repeat that about a hundred times. If I don't do that, I probably should be arrested. ANYWAY, I'm hoping he'll help me develop a to-do list of things I need to do, and action plan, if you will, to make this happen. This is the guy who told me about how to extend my health benefits for two years until medicare kicks in. I tried to get third party confirmation on what he told me and got some radically conflicting information. He assured me (over voice mail) that he does know how to get this done, and to trust him. I'll need it in writing, but he seems to know what he's talking about.

After this meeting today, it might just be time to make a construction paper chain where I tear off one link per day until I can "retire". Did you ever do something like this as a kid to count down till Christmas, or some greatly anticipated event? I did, and this is about the most greatly anticipated event of my life. I don't think I'll be able to get out of it without the construction paper chain.

The New Apartment

The move in to the new apartment wen't very smoothly. All the car trips we made in the weeks leading up to the move day really paid off, as did all the time I spent laying awake at night, packing the moving truck in my mind. I was really concerned about how Boothy was going to fit into the new apartment. Not how she was going to fit into the living room, but how she was going to fit in the front door. When the time came to actually take her out of the truck, Pat, my dad and I talked about it briefly, and just decided to go for it, and she slid right in (that's what she said?). It was absolutely perfect.

We're about 80% unpacked, and the place is looking great! I have a little nook (the dining room) to work on my art, the booth fits very nicely into the living room. The kitchen, although small, has a deceptively large amount of cupboard space. It's a very cozy little apartment, and it's becoming more and more comfortable by the day. We've also been exploring the neighborhood spots a little. There's tons of little bars and restaurants that are begging to be discovered by us. We even found a trashy little place that has an open mic every Monday (called The Sea Monster), so Chapsy will be making use of that very soon. I'm waiting for my art show to finish at Harry's Bar (I still don't know when that show will close) before I start hanging stuff on the walls, I definitely want to hang some of my un-sold art. Getting some of that onto the walls is going to go a long way in making this place look a little more like home. Also getting some xmas lights up in here will help. If you ever came to see our old apartment in The Ragley, you'll know how we love our xmas lights :)

The one catch is Laura's bike, which was cable-locked to the front porch railing, was stolen two mornings ago. But we filed a police report, and called Safeco to file a claim on my renter's insurance, and we'll be getting at least some reimbursement for it. it's a little creepy to thing some fiend was up on the front porch, but I guess that's city living, and we're dealing with it well :)

Moving Day

Today is moving day. I never feel prepared enough when I move, but I'm pretty well prepared this time. I' haven't moved in a while, the last move was eight years ago. This has been the second longest address I've ever held, the longest was a small rambler I lived in in Kent on 204th and 103rd. I can still remember the street address very clearly.

I've probably mentioned this already, but this apartment has been my most favorite dwelling. It really is a great apartment. But in this new phase of my life, my emphasis will be placed on other things. More important and long-lasting things. It feels quite good to be trading something so "cool" as a big fancy apartment or a big fancy motorcycle for something like a fulfilled life. This feels good and life-affirming. Like I'm putting my money where my mouth is in the actual real world. And I'm looking forward to my new life in Wallingford :)

Thanks in advance to all the people who are going to turn out today to help with the loading and unloading of the moving truck. This would be very difficult without the added hands of the people who love me. Thanks guys and gals :)